The first race I did was the Ocean City island to island half marathon. I had never done this race before but was excited because the course was known to be flat! I finished in 2:05 which is about 20 min slower than my PR and 1 minute slower than my pregnant PR, however my PR was done at 18 weeks pregnant and running is much easier at that point. Now normally I don't ever do two half marathons in a row but since I am pregnant and not pushing it I was excited that I could sign up for the Frederick half the weekend after finishing this one. Since the OC one had no hills I wasn't sore at all and basically took off all week from working out to make sure that my body got all of the rest that it needed. The Frederick half is a race that I have done repeatedly over the past few years. It's a great course and i really do love to run local races! Normally the weather works out pretty well, but this year the start of the race was during a downpour and it basically rained on and off the entire race. I cannot say that it was the best way to start a run but atleast it wasn't hot and humid, which is way worse. I finished this race, which is pretty hilly, in 2:06 plus felt amazingly well afterwards!
OK well I started this blog entry weeks ago (see above) and then never seemed to find the time to finish it so I guess I will do that now.
Let me try to summarize everything that has happened since the races since that is where I left off, atleast up until July 8th. Well update for the baby is that we had the 20 week anatomy ultrasound on June 20th and very clearly showed us that he is a boy! He did show cysts on his brain but the doctor assured us that this can be a normal finding and that he had no indicators of anything else being wrong so he was not really worried. He did order whats called a cell free DNA test to make sure that it was not an indicator of Trisomy 18, but since this was the only indicator that he showed we felt pretty confident that Blueberry did not have this diagnosis. Luckily the blood work came back quickly and it was all clear and it also confirmed that blueberry is in fact a boy!
At this point in pregnancy I was honestly feeling great! I was running and going to the gym almost every day and had no issues at all, well other than my varicose veins that always bother me. Honestly I think at this point I was taking for granted how great things seemed to be going and did not even realize what the next few weeks would hold. My family went to the beach for a few days and really had a great time! We ate yummy food, ran on the boardwalk and of course had fun in the water!
Once we got back from our trip we had a fetal echocardiogram ordered for the baby on July 8th. This is a test that is often times ordered with IVF pregnancies since it has been shown that IVF may increase the risk of cardiac issues. I was not worried in the least and was so excited to have another look at Blueberry! Welllll this is when the smooth pregnancy I was having kind of went downhill slightly. I woke up that morning and tried to run at Orange Theory as I normally do but as soon as I started to jog for my warm up I began to feel really light headed, my vision felt like it was going black and my hearing felt off, I have never passed out but I assume thats what it would feel like. I of course stopped since yes I do love working out, even when pregnant, but I will never push myself when I know there is a baby inside of me counting on me. I felt better once I sat down and drove home and went back to bed. I figured it was just an off day. Fast forward a few hours later as I was driving to my appointment I felt a gush, honestly TMI but after 4 births I thought maybe I just had to pee. I stopped at my moms to use the bathroom and nope that is not what happened, instead it was a fairly large amount of blood over my pants. Being a nurse I really did not freak out too much but did call my OB and had to borrow clothes from my mom. Thankfully I was on my way to my maternal fetal medicine doc anyways because honestly I did not like the answer I got from the medical assistant at my OB's office. I think she was really underestimating how much blood there was saying it was dehydration or something like that. Let's just say if I was not going to my MFM anyways I would have insisted they see me. It was pouring outside so I did not want to panic the dad that was driving to meet me so I texted the other dad just to let him know, it is so important to me to always keep the dad's updated of what is going on with their baby. I finally get to the doctor's office and at this point I was starting to freak out a little because the bleeding was getting worse and it was way more than I was comfortable seeing. Luckily one of Blueberry's dads got there and we started the appointment. In short the heart looked great, my cervix was long and closed which is great but I had a large blood clot over my cervix. The good news is that my placenta was no where near there so it wasn't placenta previa, it was just a large clot that randomly decided to show up. The doctor said if it was from running it would have happened immediately the last time I ran, which it didn't since I couldn't even run that day, he said sometimes these random things just happen. The baby looked great and probably was unfazed from all everything went on, which is great but I was still worried. We had a family trip to Niagara Falls and Great Wolf lodge that he said we could still go on if I took it easy but we decided it would be best to just stay home to relax here and not risk having an emergency away from home. My kids were of course sad, as was I but we all wanted to put Blueberry first so made the best decision for him and his safety. This issue of course meant no working out for two weeks and really meant sitting on the couch until the bleeding resolved and then taking it easy after that until the 2 week check on 7/22. I was sad of course because I love working out but was hopeful that this would clear and all would be well at the next check.
Just to point out the positive I also want to say that the brain cysts were gone, which is what the doctor had thought would happen! We were obviously so glad to hear this!
I drove home to finish work and of course the bleeding got worse and I started to feel cramping so I called my OB and they said they would see me the next day. I felt so much better that I would get checked again the next day. Luckily that night the bleeding got better and the doctor I saw agreed with everything that MFM had said, so we were sure that we were doing everything correctly.
Fast forward two weeks and my bleeding had stopped after a few days and I felt great so I was very hopeful that the next check would show that the clot disappeared and that I would be cleared to resume my normal activities. Well things did not go as planned and although Blueberry is now heads down, yay for the good news, the clot is still there. It is smaller which is great but it is still there keeping me from running and exercising and resuming my normal life. The doctor did clear me for my trip to the beach next week but he did say to take it easy. That means lots of sitting and perhaps a wheel chair if we decide to do anything with a lot of walking, like the Cape May Zoo, or just avoiding it completely. As always we will all do whatever we have to do to keep this baby safe and happy and of course in my belly until atleast 38 or 39 weeks!
I won't lie I pretty much cried my entire way home and am really honestly sad about it. I became a surrogate to help a family, which I am so excited to be doing and do not regret it even for a second, but what allowed me to easily do it was that pregnancy is typically easy for me, I can usually maintain some sort of exercise until the end and just live my normal life. I also want to be clear that when I decided to be a surrogate that I knew the risks and I knew that things don't always go as planned but it still doesn't make things easy when they don't. For those of you that exercise consistently or run you may understand this sadness. Running is such a huge and important part of my life and it is what makes me feel so healthy and strong. Not being able to run makes me feel tired and weaker and also means I shouldn't eat the donuts and delicious treats that I typically like to enjoy. I really feel guilty about being sad about this since I really am truly so happy and grateful that Blueberry is healthy but I want to be honest about the process and this is honestly how I feel. It truly sucks, and I need to come to terms with the fact that yes we are rechecking in two weeks on 8/5 but realistically I may still not be able to resume exercise at that point. Dr Kramer luckily said he thinks it will either absorb or I will bleed it out of me, but he did not say what that will mean for my restrictions and honestly I was afraid to ask. As I said I am so happy and relieved that Blueberry looks fantastic and doesn't seem bothered by this and I hope that it stays this way even if it means that I cannot resume my normal exercise but it is not easy on me or my family. The goal in the end is a healthy baby being delivered to his two wonderful parents, and I am confident that we will make that happen, I just hope we have no more hiccups along the way and this clot disappears and I can get back to feeling healthy and strong. Plus in 2 weeks Blueberry's parents will get to see him on ultrasound again which is never a bad thing <3
To end on a good note, and to show that everything is 100% worth it... this is a picture of the beautiful Emily that I delivered in March of 2018. I am so grateful to have been matched with two wonderful sets of intended parents that I can truly maintain a relationship with after the journey.
Also a picture of watermelon because it is a current craving of mine!!!
