Transfer Recap and Heartbeat!

So after I wrote the last blog entry I realized that I had not posted about the actual transfer.. oops.. sorry! I will blame early pregnancy brain, and just honestly being exhausted.

Our second embryo transfer was March 5th, and it went perfectly! Jeremy drove me down to VA where we stopped for lunch and then dropped off my luggage at my hotel.  Just like after the first transfer everyone thought that I would get better rest at a hotel than coming home, which honestly with 3 kids I am sure is true! We then went to meet the Dad's at the clinic for the actual transfer.  We all wore shirts that I made, and this time they were green for good luck. I also wore a pair of socks that I made hoping all of these little things would bring us the best of luck for this transfer day.  I mean honestly who knows if any of these good luck things actually bring real luck, but hey I am willing to try whatever it takes! 

After transfer the embryo's Dad's gave me a really sweet gift of Georgetown Cupcakes and Macaroons... YUM... pretty sure I ate all of it in one night, they were so so so delicious, especially the macaroons! I think I will be dreaming about those for a long time to come.  They also wrote me a really sweet and thoughtful card that meant way more to me than any gift could, and you all know how I love food!  

On our way back to the hotel we also stopped for McDonald's fries, because again it's supposed to be goodluck.  I rarely eat McDonald's fries,  however these were hot, fresh, and delicious so we all got our own Large... yep we each ate a Large Fry! 

After transfer we had to wait an entire 9 days for blood work, but it was well worth the wait since we got a positive. We did cheat and test early at home, and were so excited to watch all of the tests get progressively darker! Typically after a positive beta they will do a 2nd two days later, however this would have been a weekend so we had to wait until 4 days after; now that was a difficult wait.  The Beta should double within 48 hours and ours went from 134 to 812 so it was doubling every 36 hours which was amazing!  After two or three great betas clinics will typically order the ultrasounds, ours were scheduled for 4/3 and 4/11.  Again, it felt like another long wait until we would see the beautiful little heartbeat.  At this point I was not really having any symptoms which did worry me a little but I do also know that every pregnancy can be so different. 

On March 25th apparently this baby wanted to scare us.  I was having a great day until I went to the bathroom and had a small amount of spotting, now I had the same issue last pregnancy and I know it is normal but I still cannot help but to freak out just a little.  I called my nurse Jenn and she was amazing and worked it out so that we could go in for an ultrasound the very next day.  I am so grateful that she was able to do this because at least one of the baby's dads could go with me to make sure that everything was looking great.  They did warn us that at 5 weeks 5 days we most likely would not see a heartbeat and they were right but we did see a fetal pole and yolk sac and of course a small SCH (subchorionic hemorrhage) which was causing the bleeding.  For those of you that followed my last blog I had a much larger one at this same point in pregnancy so I was very glad to hear that this one was small.  I was still not running or exercising at this point, but was happy to be lazy a few more weeks just to keep this baby healthy, plus I can't deny that I have enjoyed sleeping in.  I felt really bad that the one Dad couldn't make it but also relieved that we were able to see that everything was measuring on track and looked great.  Around the time of the first ultrasound I also wanted to see if I could use my home doppler to hear the baby's heartbeat and I was amazed that I could.  Typically it is really difficult to find this early but I think after being a nurse, and with this being my 5th pregnancy it may be slightly easier for me, plus the dad's really loved receiving the video of the doppler where they could hear it for themselves so it was way worth the work of finding it.  

After this "extra" ultrasound we were able to proceed with the next two and I was happy to see that the SCH was disappearing and I had no more bleeding.  The next two ultrasounds were amazing, we all got to see the heartbeat, and hear it and we also got to see that everything was growing well! 

Since the baby was doing well I finally got to start running and exercising again, although I was taking it much slower and wasn't running any full marathons! I may have really been enjoying the relaxation but I was also missing the energy from my runs and was honestly missing how good I felt after working out.  I do have to say that after 5-6 weeks off my muscles did not feel so good after running that first 3 miles but otherwise I felt great and am so grateful that the baby's parents are supportive of my workouts as long as the doctor continues to approve it!  Since my running has been feeling so great (other than sore legs after the first few runs) I have signed up for the Ocean City half marathon on 4/27 (nice and flat) as well as the Frederick half on 5/5 which I run almost every year.  I am going to ask the doctor tomorrow at my first OB appointment if I am cleared to run these races however she has always been supportive of exercise in my past pregnancies (I've run a half marathon the past two) so I am assuming she will be supportive of this one as well.  If not I will not run and if she does approve, and I do run, I am fully okay with stopping when I need to, and drinking whenever and walking at every water stop.  That is the great thing about running races while pregnant, I feel like I can fully enjoy the race and how great I feel and not worry about the time at all! Running while pregnant is perhaps one of my favorite times to run, well minus the running with the exhaustion first trimester, haha! Here's one of my training run's with my girls!

After our second ultrasound we graduated to my OB, yay!!!!! Here is a picture of our amazing team at CCRM-VA, Dr. M and our nurse Jenn M.  They were really amazing during the entire process and you can tell that they both truly care about their patients <3 . The guys were also in this picture, however I want to maintain their privacy so I did edit them out.  Once we graduated from CCRM it was time to start weaning from medications, woohoo! This Thursday, we reach 10 weeks, I will have completely weaned off estrogen and progesterone since now the placenta should be taking over producing these hormones for my body and the baby.  

Here is all of the belly pics that were missing in the past few weeks since I have just been too tired to write a blog post... sorry I will try to be better going forward!  

As I said previously early on I did not have many symptoms although as I was getting closer to 9 weeks I started developing more fatigue and nausea with some food aversions.  Some days nothing sounds good to eat and when something does sound good it's really just carbs or sometimes protein.  Before this pregnancy I loved veggies and salad and I am really hoping that I gain back my love for vegetables soon, although for now I do force them in when I need to. 

I, of course, cannot have a blog post with some of the yummy treats that I have been snacking on recently. Of course donuts, and yes I did tell Jeremy one was for me and one was for the baby haha! Then there were these amazing cookies that I am now in love with and cannot stop eating, plus these other delicious snacks I found at food lion.  

When I get a treat the entire family gets a treat... First Jimmie Cone of the season! 

Happy Easter this past weekend to those that celebrate... here are two pictures of my family! 

Beta #1

I am sure everyone just wants to know what the results were so I will get right to the point... our first Beta was 134 and we are PREGNANT!  This is a great number and is higher than average for being 9dp5dt (9 days post 5 day transfer).  I will say that I was expecting it to be higher due to the how dark the home pregnancy tests have been, but you can't really determine a beta from a home test so I really shouldn't have assumed anything. Here is our first weekly bump pic!

The due date is 11/21 (Thanksgiving baby)! Next beta will be Monday, typically it's 2 days in between, however it is the weekend so we are being tortured for two extra days :-(

The intended parents and I have known since 4dpt which was Saturday, however they did not want me to share the news until today, which was perfectly understandable.  In the days after the first test and today we have gotten to gradually watch the beautiful test line get darker and darker, and will continue to do so for at least a few more days! Yes that means I will be throwing more money at Target to buy more tests. 

Of course a digital made it even more real while waiting for beta!

Plus I will have to buy more of this delicious ice cream to celebrate:-)

I am sure that you may be wondering if I have any symptoms yet and the answer is not really. I would say the only symptoms I have had has been on/off cramping and having to pee more often.  I guess I've also woken up starving for the past few mornings which I guess can count as a symptom as well :-) I love food so I don't always think of that as a symptom but for the sake of keeping track of symptoms I will count it!

The parents of this baby and I are so thrilled and excited for what lies ahead. We are all truly grateful for all of the support and positive vibes that everyone has been sending us. I have seriously had friends asking me every day how I feel and saying that they can't wait to hear how it went.  We are also grateful to be working with, and in my case for, such an amazing agency that has provided me so much support with coordinating absolutely everything that I have needed :-) 

If anyone has any questions along the way please let me know.. as I've said before I love to share about my journey and love to educate as many people as I can on what surrogacy is and how it can help build a family.  

I also wanted to share this sweet picture of Cody with our puppy, poor guy has been home sick for two days, although today I think he could have gone to school lol. 

Cycle #2

Since transfer #2 is Tuesday I thought I would give a quick update! Over the last two weeks I have had two monitoring appointments which include sonograms and bloodwork.  Last cycle I drove to the CCRM office for all of those appointments but luckily this cycle my amazing case manager worked it out so that I could go to Shady Grove Fertility Frederick which is 20 minutes away as opposed to the 1.5-2 hours it was taking me to get to Tysons corner.  I still had to do the lining check on 2/28 in VA but at least for two visits I was much closer to home. 

With my last journey Shady Grove Fertility was the clinic that my intended parents used so it was nice seeing familiar faces for these appointments and they were awesome and gave me a copy of my ultrasound report so that I could send it right over to CCRM!  On a side note the sonographer also recognized me because she has a side business where she does elective ultrasounds out of her house and she had done a gender ultrasound for me when I was pregnant with Cody. 

Many of you that are not familiar with surrogacy may be wondering what exactly it entails to get your body ready for an embryo transfer.  Well first let me say that every clinic is different and my protocol at CCRM is vastly different than my protocol was at SGF.  Ultimately with the right combination of estrogen and progesterone your body should do what it needs to but both of those medications come in different forms and can given different ways.  With SGF I had a lot more injections but with CCRM it's more pills and a few added medications such as aspirin and a steroid.  The goal before transfer is a lining of 8 millimeters, so really anything above an 8 is what clinics believe works best for embryo implantation. Below is some of the medications that I am currently taking, and yes one includes a large needle that goes into my glut muscle, luckily being a nurse I feel like I have an advantage with this one!

The first monitoring appointment, which is typically 3 weeks before transfer, was after I stopped birth control and was to check and make sure that my ovaries are quiet (the GC should not be ovulating) and to make sure that my lining started nice and thin before starting estrogen.  A week later I had my second ultrasound and bloodwork which was to check my hormone levels and to make sure that my body was responding to the estrogen and that my lining was getting thicker.  Last cycle mine was an 8 at this point this cycle it was a 9! In addition to the estrogen that the clinic had me start I have been drinking POM juice which is supposed to help lining as well.  I did check with the clinic to make sure that it was okay and they said that they had just been discussing the use of POM juice and were completely on board with me drinking it. At this point I was also told to increase my estrogen from 2x a day to 3x a day.  After a week of an increased dose I had my third and last lining check, last cycle it was about 10.5 and this cycle it got to 11.6.  Honestly after it gets to an 8 it is debatable as to whether it matters and there is a such thing as being too thick however I was still happy with my increase!  Once my blood test results came in transfer was confirmed for Tuesday 3/5, and we could all not be any more excited! Below is a picture of the POM juice that I have been drinking, I actually think its delicious, and the second picture of two of the good luck charms I have been wearing for this cycle. One is a beautiful necklace that Emily's parents gave me when she was born with her birthstone, and the other is a real 4 leaf clover that I got to match keychains that I got the two Dad's!

We are all very hopeful for this second transfer and are going to keep thinking positive!

One thing I haven't discussed this journey is the things that you do have to give up being a surrogate. Most of it honestly doesn't bother me since I know it's for good reason and when I'm carrying someone else's child I know that the things I do impact not only me and my family but another family as well.  The first thing I had to give up is alcohol, which honestly is not a big deal to me since I'm not a huge drinker.  The second thing is not something I gave up completely last cycle and not something I am asked to give up by the clinic, however this cycle I have chosen to give up caffeine 2 weeks before transfer.  For my last journey the clinic had asked me not to drink caffeine so I figure I will do everything that I possibly can to make this work which includes caffeine! I wouldn't say that I am addicted to caffeine but I do really enjoy a warm delicious latte or macchiato or even just coffee.  The fourth thing I have to give up is something my husband is not happy that I can't do but we won't even talk about that, haha! In the grand scheme of things it's a sacrifice the two of us can deal with.  The fifth thing I have to give up is being able to go on rides or do obstacle courses with my kids in the summer.  We have plans to go to the science center in Pittsburgh which has a fun ropes course and last time I went I was pregnant with Emily and couldn't do it and this time hopefully I'm pregnant with a new baby! The sixth thing I have to give up is probably the most difficult.  I cannot work out at all for at least a few weeks after transfer.  Anyone that knows me knows that this is the MOST difficult thing for me to give up since I work out every day and not only is it how I start each day but it makes me feel healthier and happier for the entire day.  Plus it gives me a reason to be able to eat donuts and ice cream haha!  As I said in the beginning all of these sacrifices are completely worth the end result and I am happy to skip out on all of them for as long as I need to!  Below is a picture after my last long run of this cycle, and yes I do really love running in the snow!

As we are approaching this second transfer my case manager booked me a hotel room for the night after transfer so that I can rest without having to care for the kids.  It's not mandatory but it is a nice way to know that I won't try to do too much that night, plus it's a night in a hotel without my kids so I'm not complaining, however I will say Jeremy is a little jealous!

Something that I think is very important to me for my journey as well as most surrogates is communication.  This entire process really is a team effort that includes both parents, myself and my family, the clinic, and of course my agency.  We all need to always stay on the same page so that things can get done when they need to and so that we can all feel that our needs are heard and met.  Now some surrogates and intended parents do go into a match with a more business like mind set where they don't want to have a lasting relationship and honestly if all parties are on the same page I think thats great, however it is not what I wanted.  I wanted a closer relationship where we would be more like family friends throughout the journey and after.  This does not mean that we will see each other every month but it does mean that we have a positive relationship and that if all goes well during the journey we do get to see each other after and our families have some sort of bond.  I was very lucky in my last journey that we maintained a great relationship throughout and that we still try to see each other on occasion.  Speaking of which I cannot believe that Emily will be 1 in two weeks, time really does fly when you're not caring for a new baby!  Not only was I lucky last journey but I am very lucky this journey as well and I have been matched with two wonderful future dad's, I can thank the amazing matching team with my agency for that :-) We talk multiple times a week and at times daily about everything surrogacy related as well as things going on in our own lives.  They are two of the sweetest and most down to earth guys that I know will make such amazing father's!  Speaking of which we are all going out for a double date night to sushi tonight so that I can eat it while I still can!  I forgot to even add sushi and lunch meat to the two things that I have to give up, however I don't really give up sushi I just don't eat the kinds with raw fish.  I did get a sub with lunch meat the other day so that I could enjoy it one last time for hopefully a long time, however I chose poorly with my bread :-(

If anyone ever has any questions please let me know.. I really do try to be very open about the entire process, I will update again after the transfer on Tuesday, please send all of your positive vibes and baby dust our way!

The Beginning of Another Beautiful Surrogacy Journey...

Hi Everyone! I am pretty sure that I have said from the beginning of this surrogacy journey that I would write a blog entry "soon" and yet it has taken me a long time.  I think part of that reason is because this is the slow and "boring" part of the journey before the exciting pregnancy starts!

At this point I want to give you a brief summary of the past few months so that we can all be caught up with where everything is currently.  I am not sure how many of you have read my previous blog, ( http://faithloveandbabydust.weebly.com/ )especially the birth story, but I'd have to honestly say that the birth of baby Emily (surrogate baby #1) was one of the most meaningful moments of my life.  Obviously the birth of my own kids was simply amazing but this was an experience unlike any other.  I had carried this sweet baby girl inside of me for 9 months, plus months of work to get pregnant before that, and it all culminated in her delivery in March of 2018.  To go from carrying this other family's baby in my belly to seeing her held and loved by her two dad's was truly a special moment, I literally watched her family grow right before my eyes.  She is such a sweet and happy baby and I am just so happy that her Dad's and I still continue to have a great relationship where they share pictures of her at special moments in her life and where our families still see each other on occasion.  For those of you who wonder how my kid's reacted to surrogacy I can honestly tell you that to them it is part of normal every day life.  I don't think they realize that it's not really "normal" for everyone.  They of course love seeing Emily but it's just like the love they have for close friends or cousins, not anything more just because I carried her.  Not every surrogate has this relationship with intended parents but it is how ours has developed which I am very happy about.

I can remember immediately after delivering Emily telling my doctor that I wanted to do this again. She had thought I meant deliver a baby naturally without pain meds again (which yes I want to do) but really I meant to be a surrogate again and to help another beautiful family grow.  I knew that I needed to wait 9-12 months before transfer so around 5-6 months after Emily I started the match process again, of course with the same wonderful agency I had used before. Honestly, this agency had been so wonderful to me that I could not imagine using anyone else.  I had a "perfect" match and of course loved my case manager and everyone else that I had worked with throughout the entire process, they truly do put their hearts into their work!  I actually loved the agency so much that during my pregnancy with Emily I told my case manager that if they ever had an opening for a case manager to please consider me!  I honestly did not at all expect that a few months after having Emily I was told that there was an opening and that I should apply, skip ahead a few weeks and I was offered a job as a case manager! This was such an exciting opportunity for me so of course I could not say no.  Yes it's a little hard to believe that I would give up a career as a nurse (with 10+ years of experience) but sometimes you have to follow your heart and do what you know is right for you and your family.  I have worked here for 6 months and honestly have no regrets at all.  I truly love what I do and not only do I have amazing coworkers (trust me I ask them like 10 million questions a day and they always answer) but I also work with an awesome group of intended parents, surrogates and of course clinics.  I have a quote up in my office which really holds true:

"Working hard for something we don't care about is called STRESS... Working hard for something we love is called PASSION!"

Now back to my journey as a repeat gestational carrier! I want to first clarify that although I work for the agency that I am using as a surrogate, I have first hand knowledge of privacy laws from being a registered nurse and everything involved in my journey is kept private. I think nursing really does train you to keep work separate and to know how to maintain boundaries.  Luckily I was matched with two awesome intended parents that are completely understanding and happy with how everything has worked out!

I don't want to share too much about my intended parents so that they can maintain privacy but they are a same sex couple that live relatively local to me and they are two of the sweetest people that I have ever met! Once again the amazing matching team at my agency made a perfect match and I truly could not be any happier!

After matching in September we proceeded along the typical timeline of a match which started with Psychological and then Medical Screening with CCRM-VA.  I had always worked with SGF in the past but I said that I would be open to work with other clinics, ideally a local clinic which this was is.  Psych screening was the first time that I met the guys in person and they were just as sweet in person as they were over email and video chat.  We all passed with flying colors and our first embryo transfer was scheduled for 1/8/19!  This was of course a very exciting time, the guys met our kids the weekend before transfer and they designed transfer shirts that I then made! I also made cookies for the IVF center, yes sperm and eggs, haha! CCRM also made us this really sweet card to memorialize the day... needless to say we all REALLY wanted this to work!

The day of transfer went really well! We met the the guys at CCRM-VA, Jeremy went too, and then after transfer we all went to lunch before Jeremy went home and I went to a hotel to rest before going home the next day.  I think I went into that transfer a little naive, assuming it would work just like the first one had with my last journey.  Unfortunately 9 days after transfer, on 1/17, we had blood drawn and it was negative.  This is not the fun part of any journey but unfortunately IVF is not 100% and this happens.

I did go through an endometrial biopsy and some autoimmune testing after the first failed transfer, but luckily after everything checked out normal we have a second transfer scheduled for 3/5/19. I had my baseline lining check today (I will now start estrogen and baby aspirin), and then the second one will be on 2/21, and the third check will be 2/28. If all is clear on 2/28 I will start progesterone injections and we will have the transfer on 3/5! I think we are all going into this transfer optimistic, these embryos were all genetically tested, and although we had a first failed transfer, we are all hopeful that the "second time's a charm"!

Here is an updated picture of my beautiful family <3 Who continues to be awesome and supportive with all of my adventures! This was taken by the talented Liz Hough with Liz Hough Photography <3